Social Networking made easy on HWerks

Whether you join a dating site for people with herpes or one of the huge commercial dating sites, the results can be the same. Either there is nobody in your area or the competition is huge. So, what do you do to get noticed or pass the time until that perfect one joins? This is where the social networking comes in.

Social networking is basically interacting with other members in various ways and having fun doing it. Look at it this way, Facebook is not a dating site but they are probably up there, in terms of dates, as the big guys are. You have friends, wall posts, games..etc. In other words, you are now a personality instead of just a profile.

How does this help you? In a perfect world, you would go online, click a profile and find that perfect person that lives around the corner from you. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. Having herpes and/or HPV doesn’t make it any easier. What social networking does is it opens your search radius and that of others. You may catch the eye of that perfect one, who came across your profile, and lives an only hour away. We know this happens and have the marriages to prove it! We have also had quite a few that spanned several states.

So, how do you get in on this whole social networking thing? We make it simple with the forums and chat. What we did not expect was how popular our groups have become. We first noticed that our main forums were slowing down and that had us stumped. We realized this was due to to the groups exploding. Groups are created by members for people that share a similar interest.

Here are some of the more popular groups within HWerks:

Words with Werks
Anybody else addicted to Words With Friends®? Why not play it with other members on HWerks? Here is a great article about how 2 people got married playing Words With Friends!

What’s up with HER?
Hey guys, need a woman’s ear? Want some female advice? Be careful what you ask for! Hear opinions from a wide variety of women. Open to men AND women!

Frugal for life
We can all save a buck or two and cut costs here and there — especially in this economy. This is a group for those seeking information about stretching a dollar to the max and for the frugal-minded to share tips they’ve learned.

Backyard Grilling
Everybody loves a cookout! Whether you are a novice on the grill or an expert, it doesn’t matter as long as you like to grill! You can learn or share your recipes or techniques to the perfect BBQ!

Don’t worry, there are a lot of different groups that cover everything from gardening to photography.  You are also free to open your own group if none sparks an interest!

So, don’t be shy, jump in and happy networking!

Jason Biggs updates Twitter on the progress of his cold sore

Jason Biggs on WhoSay

Jason Biggs on WhoSay

WhoSay.com - Ok guys, I’m gonna live tweet the progress of my lip herpe that showed up in London. Here’s pic 1. 

Jason Biggs  went to Twitter account and tweeted the progress of his cold sore on his lip.  He went from “Getting better” to “Just a scab at this point. On the home stretch.”  You know Jason Biggs as the star of the “American Pie” and his new movie, “American Reunion,” is in theaters now.

He is correct in that  cold sores are caused by the oral herpes simplex virus-1 (HSV1 for short).  Herpes simplex virus-2 (HSV2) is the one most associated with genital herpes.  Some estimate that up to 80% of people have HSV1 but many do not show symptoms as their immunity system fights it off.  Canker sores, often confused with cold sores, are different.

What many people do not realize it that you can pass HSV1 to a partner even without showing any symptoms.  You can also pass HSV1 to a partner’s genital region thus giving them genital herpes.  These examples are long shots but they do occur.  Just use common sense.

One of the common ways people get HSV1 are as children.  Remember that wedding your parents made you go to as a kid and Aunt Bernice was first in line to give you that big kiss?  Eventually, your body builds up anti-bodies to fight the virus.  Of course, it can rear its ugly head at any time like before that important interview or that big date.  This is because an outbreak can be brought on by stress.

Jason Biggs totally rocks for his honesty, making light of his cold sore and bringing attention to something that most people have and may feel embarrassed about.

You can follow Jason Biggs on Twitter for any more updates on his cold sore!

Say what??? Is Facebook going too far?

DailyMail – Could Facebook tell you which of your friends has an STD? As many a Facebook friend will tell you, revealing more about your private life than you would like is an everyday hazard of the web. But a new concept for an app could see social network users sharing information far more sensitive than a drunken party snap. Researchers are exploring whether websites such as Facebook could be used to sift through users’ friend lists and flag up which of them may be carrying a sexually transmitted infection. A team at the University of North Carolina’s Center for Infectious Diseases hopes this approach can harness the power of increasingly ubiquitous social networks to prevent the spread of diseases such as HIV and chlamydia.

Ok, on the surface, this seems like a good idea.  But is it?

The Facebook phenomenon of “Friends” has gotten out of control.   A vast majority of FB users can be put into 3 categories:

• The quiet ones that MAYBE have 3 or 4 real friends.  BUT, according to their Facebook page, they are rock stars sporting 800 friends!
• The ones that  look up all of their Ex’s or the ones that “Got away” and befriend them.
• Of course, we can’t leave out the serial daters that constantly update their relationship status every other week.

So, they take all this data, pop it into an algorithm and out pops people who potentially may have an STD?

What the study is implying is that everybody is hooking up with everybody else on their friend’s list.  There may be some truth to this.  The article goes on to explain how a syphilis outbreak in North Carolina was 80% contained simply by connecting people from their network of friends on Facebook.  It could also be a good way to notify others that may be high-risk for HIV.

The looming question beckons…who is going to volunteer this information?  We don’t come across too many status changes of “Having a bad outbreak today” or “I have herpes, does anybody else?”   Will a status of “Having dinner with Monique tonight” automatically notify her that I may have an STD simply because last week my status was “Meeting Veronica for drinks?”  Who knows? The last thing anybody wants is to let Facebook decide who may have an STD.

There are 2 problems that come to mind.  Number one, Facebook is not exactly known for their ethical privacy policies.  Not only do they change often but if things were up to them, everything would be out in the open.  The second is that many people got herpes and other STDs from a dishonest partner (Or one that did not know they had it) and they do not exactly want to broadcast it to the world.  They are just trying to deal with it.

What do you think?  A good idea or is Facebook going too far on this one?

Spring is in the air and MCF comes to the rescue!

The Motor City Friends (MCF)  are welcoming in the spring with their annual Spring Fling party and you are invited!  This just isn’t any party, MCF are KNOWN for throwing the largest one-day events in the HSV and HPV community!  Not only do they have one of the largest and most active groups but their events can draw as many people as the larger National Events.

MCF takes over an entire bar in a great suburb of Detroit.  Not only does this event bring in people from Michigan but also from other surrounding states because it is so much fun!  There were quite a few of us from Chicago that would carpool just to attend.

The event goes from 5:30 – till the last person leaves.  It includes a DJ, an ice breaker game to get everyone mixing and mingling and a raffle.  There is NO COVER CHARGE!

From out-of-town and feel like a road trip? No problem!  Since there are a lot of out-of-towners, they have scheduled events for Friday and Saturday as well!

If you have ever been to a National Event then there is no doubt that have run into a MCF member as they are just a great group.  You will feel welcome from the moment you walk in the door.

There is a capacity limit so get on the list before it fills up.  You don’t want to be left out on this one!

For more information, please contact Motor City Friends at: motorcityfriends@yahoo.com

It's Vegas, and the POCSN are throwing a PARTY!

The People of Color Social Networking (POCSN)  is having their 13th annual national event in Las Vegas!  POCSN is made up of local POC (People of Color) groups all over the country so this event will be big!  For those of you that are new to the herpes/HPV world, the POCSN group is  (From their website) “an African-American oriented group. All that means is that we address topics of interest to our members and our events are more African-American in nature. “  They welcome all to attend this big event.

Not only is Vegas a great place for an event, it is perfect in June!  They have been doing this for 13 years so it will be a great time!  If you want to know more, head on over to their website at POCSN.org as they are taking registrations now. If you want to see other events or learn more about them, just stop by our events section!

Remember, it isn’t gambling if you are winning!

Giving the talk isn't always easy but you'll be glad you did

How to tell someone you have herpes or HPV?  So, you start dating someone and you look for a way to tell them about your herpes or HPV.  In our community, this is simply known as  “The Talk.”  Is it awkward and stressful?  Of course it is!  We are not going to try to sugar coat it.  Will it be the most difficult thing you ever do?  No, not by a long shot.  It’s not the actual talk that causes the most stress, it is the buildup of anticipation beforehand that gets most people.

Say that you are talking to someone or just started dating and things are going well, really well.  This is the perfect one for you and everything, now what?  Here is where the awkwardness comes in aka “The Talk.”  As things progress, you are eventually going to have to tell that person about your special circumstance.  It is completely natural to totally freak out and think, “OMG!  They are not only going to reject me but then they tell all my friends, too!”  Go ahead, grab that paper bag and breathe slowly into it but continue reading!

There are endless ways on how to actually tell someone.  You have to just figure out what you are comfortable with.  If you do a Google search for Herpes and “The Talk,” you will see all kinds of ways to do it.  Some are good and others are just downright strange.  Telling someone over dinner is probably preferred over a dark, quiet room and handing them pamphlets and flow charts while putting on a PowerPoint presentation.

Tips on giving the talk:

Like opening that old container in your refrigerator , looking to see what you just ran over or being forced to see a Julia Roberts movie, you have to prepare yourself.  It’s not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it.

Sell yourself, not the herpes - When you do find yourself in a mutual attraction situation, think, ”Of course they want to date me! I am smart, good-looking and even funny.  I have got it going on! Who can blame them?”  Keep this in mind as you are telling them.  You are selling yourself, not the herpes.

There are three possible outcomes – After giving the talk, there are really only 3 possible outcomes:

• They say no – Rejection does happen.  Besides, there are no guarantees that things would have worked out, anyway.

• They say yes – They are willing to look past your herpes and want to see where things go.

• They say – “I have it too!” While this one is in the minority, it is happening more and more.  We have already heard of successful couples that have had this happen.

Either way, 2 out of 3 is pretty good odds so stay positive!

Don’t get discouraged – Not everybody is going to be open to the possibility of getting herpes.  It is completely normal.  It is not YOU they are rejecting, it is herpes.  While unsettling as this may be, put yourself in the same situation and ask yourself if you would put yourself at risk.  While you want them to be understanding, you will as well.

Why you need to give the talk:

You have the potential to affect another person for the rest of their lives.  You can also affect any of their future partners as well.  For most, getting a STD like herpes or HPV can be devastating.  You do not want that on your conscience.

You are taking away their choice.  Some people get herpes from an informed choice.  They enter into a relationship with an infected partner and knew the risks.  If you are like most, you discovered your herpes via a doctor or an outbreak.  You, most likely, got it from a dishonest partner or a partner that did not know they had herpes.  Medical professionals estimate that 1 out of 5 people have herpes and up to 80% don’t know they have it.  Either way, you did not get the choice to get herpes.  Don’t take that choice away from somebody else.

Besides the moral and ethical reasons of disclosing your herpes, there is another that has been gaining popularity.  That reason is a lawsuit.  Yes, people are not only suing partners for giving them herpes but they are winning settlements.

What to say:

This is the hardest part.  How do you tell someone that you have herpes?

Well, luckily for you, commercials are making it easier!  Have you ever been watching TV with friends and the Valtrex commercial comes on?  As you try to make yourself as small as possible, the comments never seem to get old. “Hey Frank! Your commercial is on again!” Or the worst, “Ewww, that is just gross!  I would NEVER date anybody with herpes!”

When giving the talk, use that popularity to your advantage!  When the time is right, find a way to fit in “Look, I think you are a great person but before this goes any further, I will need to get my Valtrex prescription filled.”  When you get that confused look, say, “You know that commercial.  The Valtrex one that explains how 1 out of 5 people has herpes?  Well, I am that 1 out of the 5.”  Then wait for the long pause…they will probably ask questions.

Of course, that is just one way to tell somebody.  Our fiends over at datingwithherpes.org also have other great suggestions.

After a night of Beer Pong, a few shots on $1 pitcher night, crawling into bed and telling someone you have herpes right before sex (or they pass out) does not count as giving them the talk.  There are two points that you want to convey.  First, they need to know and understand that you have herpes.  Secondly, they need to know that they are still at risk.  Being on suppressive therapy and wearing condoms can greatly REDUCE the risk but there are no guarantees.

For the small percentage of you that are reading this and are wondering…yes, you need to tell every partner.  Just using a condom and wishing for the best will not cut it.

One of the best things about HWerks is that you don’t have to give the talk because everybody inside already has HSV and or HPV!  We love to hear the successful talks but are also here for the ones that don’t go so well.

437737 in not an actual phone number but spells out "Herpes" on one!

The number 437737 in not actually a phone number rather it is the word  “Herpes” spelled out by the corresponding letters on a phone.  You are probably blown away by this amazing discovery, right?  Ok, maybe not so much but when we tell you what it can be used for, you may actually be impressed!

Like the Loch Ness Monster, Easter Island and that extra sock in the laundry, the origins of 437737 are a complete mystery.  We don’t know who thought of it but it is brilliant!

This may be the first “Herpes dating” site that you have been to but many of you have also ventured onto the regular dating sites out there with millions of people.  You are kidding yourself if you do not think that those people do not also have herpes and other STDs!  Of course, they are not going to spell out “I have herpes!” in their profile.  Hopefully, they will be honest and tell their next partner.

How can you find others with herpes or have them find you on these sites?  Simple!  Just add 437737 somewhere in your profile!  Preferably, add it to a dating field that can be searched.  Many sites will let you search for certain words in a profile. Then people can search for the number 437737.  If they are searching for it, they know what it means.

So, say that you don’t want to be so bold as to put 437737 right in your profile headline….now what?  Be creative and use it somewhere in your profile text! Here is where the brilliant part comes in!

You can disguise that number in many ways like:

• “I have 437,737 reasons why I am the perfect catch!  If you want to know more, just ask!”

• “I am a very busy person and always have 437,737 things going on at once.  But I will make time for you!”

• “If I could have 437,737 cats, I would.  Since I want to find a date , I only have 2.”

The list can go on and on!  Those that don’t know will probably not figure it out.

Of course, you could just avoid the hassle and join HWerks.  That is why 1000′s already have!

Let's fill that boat up!

This is the 4th year of the annual St. Pete Cruise!  Anybody with HSV and/or HPV is welcome to attend!  To accommodate everyone’s schedule and its popularity, TWO cruises have been scheduled this year!  Last year, over 50 people went and this year it is expected to be well over 100!  The two cruises are identical and are scheduled the week before and the week after the St. Pete National Event so if you want to go, you can also swing by the event.

The best part is that this 5-day cruise is only $279 with all you can eat!

The cruise details:

Friends Cruise AFTER
Carnival Cruise Ship “Paradise”
Port of Tampa to Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands and Cozumel
Monday, Nov 12 thru Saturday, Nov 17 and Saturday
(Departure and Return times not yet published)
Early Saver rate starts at $279 (interior) plus tax (Special group rate)

And for those who are unable to join us AFTER, there is a warm up cruise BEFORE. Yes cruisers… same ship, same destination, same number of nights! We aim to please and this guarantees that no cruiser is left behind!

Friends Cruise BEFORE
Carnival Cruise Ship “Paradise”
Port of Tampa to Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands and Cozumel
Saturday, Nov 3 thru Thursday, Nov 8
(Departure and Return times not yet published)
Early Saver rate starts at $279 (interior) plus tax (Special group rate)

This event has a private Facebook page and all the details are available inside HWerks!

Don’t forget the sunscreen!!!

Facebook has herpes and HPV??

That’s right!  Facebook has herpes and HPV.  Ok, let us rephrase that….Facebook has smaller, secret and private HSV and HPV groups.  If you scroll through the pages of local groups and events, you may have noticed the words “Private Facebook Group” where the URL should be.  You may also have asked yourself, “Hey!  What’s up with that??” So, we thought it would be a good idea to explain.

Most local groups  and National Event organizers put up a website or create a group in Yahoo.  Now, some are just creating their stuff on Facebook.  These groups are private and the only way in is to be invited by a member.  These are also secret groups.  These groups do not show up on your Facebook page when your friends view it.  In other words, unless Facebook changes their privacy rules, none of your friends can see that you belong to one of these groups.

While their functions are limited, it is convenient to be able to check in from your Facebook page to see what your local group is doing.

The next question is, “How do I find these groups if they are secret and private??”

Many of our members are also members of these Facebook groups.  Once inside of HWerks, just ask and members will point you in the right direction!

Don’t worry, nobody will ask you for any personal information to join their group, just being a member of HWerks is good enough!

Indy! Get ready for it!

The Indy Event -  Indianapolis National Event, is affectionately referred to as just “Indy” in our community.  This is  probably the longest running HSV and HPV event!  The huge advantage of Indy is it’s location as it is so accessible, by car, for so many.  People from Michigan to Florida and everywhere in between drive in.  Of course, others choose to fly in as well.  For many people, this was their first event  and responsible for getting them hooked and wanting to attend more events!

The website is www.TheIndyEvent.com (The WWW. in the URL is needed).

If you have never been to an event and want to know more, visit our events page!

UPDATE – Because of a hotel error, the Indy event has changed dates!  So, if you couldn’t go before, you may be able to make it!

The New Dates are June 28 – July 1, 2012